Writerly Reflections

I was growing up in East Europe where the life is very hard and I did have very tough childhood. I was 11 years old when I first time saw that something is not right. I start to saw that my mother is alcoholic and I did not have Idea what is coming next in my life. When I was in that age I did like to read different books but mostly it was Poetry. I was looking for some kind of exit from situation of my life. I love books about Unicorns and fantasy worlds and I do have Imagination about my special my own unicorn and world where I am happy. 

As I was getting older my life get much more hard and not bearable, this was the point when I start writing my poems. My first poem was actually about death which most of my poems was about. I was in horrible soul pain and still am. I could not cope with it as my mother when she was drunk was very aggressive and provoke my father till he get mad. I was living in fear and pain every day. So I found some kind of relieve in writing poems and put my pain out of my Inside. Most of the poems was about death and escaping to the another worlds away from my horror.

Nobody new that I am writing poems until one day I gave my diary to my mother to read. She was crying when she rode but it did not change her life. So I din continue writing till I left my home my living hell and came to the United Kingdom.

Most of my poems when I was writing it my soul and my heart was so much in pain and torture. Now I did write some but as I sad is only if I am depressed or want go away from reality. It is my way to take my pain and suffering away but I do realize is just words on the paper. But it still make me feel better.  . 

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